wE'Re AlL mAd HeRe

Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Panic… and the rest!

Triggers…

I’m been thinking about root causes of Anxiety. How & why does it develop? Are some people simply born to be prone to anxiety or does traumatic experience trigger it? Personally I think it’s a mixture. I was born with the ability to develop an anxious condition if the right environment were presented. For me, this environment was Secondary School. Like many people, I found it a hard and unnerving five years. For […]

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Interviews….

Interviews…. I don’t like them and I certainly don’t shine in that kind of environment.  (I had my first major panic attack in an interview, so go figure.) I think it’s because all eyes are on me. I’m the one being judged, there’s no team to hide behind and no social atmosphere in which I can disappear. It’s literally a case of; are you good enough or not? Will you […]

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Can’t I Just Stay in the Corner??

Social events, we’re all required to attend them…. some we enjoy…. and others make us feel sick with dread. For instance, today is the annual ‘highlights’ day at work. The department is presented with all the titles that we’re going to publish next year. It’s a whole day event and in the evening we network and socialise with the authors. Then we go out for a department meal and sit according to a detailed seating plan. I only […]

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Thinking Errors…

I couldn’t sleep last night, my mind was over active. Nothing in particular had happened to upset me, but I still felt anxious and distressed. I’ve learned from previous experience that the more I try and fight these thoughts, the worse they become. That’s the frustrating thing about the brain, it belongs to you but you can’t always control it. If it were a faulty iPod or television then you’d […]

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Keep Still???

Slightly stressful trip to Optical Express this morning and I would like to apologise to any staff members affected. I had laser eye surgery four weeks ago, (it’s fine they gave me Valium) and today was my monthly check up. After not eating breakfast and then accidently dry swallowing a tablet which got lodged somewhere uncomfortable, I spent the whole tube journey thinking that my throat was going to close […]

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Once upon a time……

Twas the evening of December 30th 2012 (bear with me, this is not a badly told fairy tale.) It was around 7pm when I began to have the worst and most violent panic attacks of my life. I’d had a series of smaller attacks during the previous week but foolishly chose to ignore them, I suppose I didn’t want to believe what was happening. Naturally my brain eventually caved under the pressure and resulted in […]

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Article in Anxious Times Magazine

Come on, you can do this. Just keep it together. You’ve been practising all night, you’ll be fine. Why haven’t they arrived yet? This room is too small. Oh God it’s happening again. Heart is racing and chest is tight. Why can’t I move my arms properly? I won’t be able to speak, I’ll faint, I’m going to run around the room screaming and then everyone will realise what a freak I am. […]

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