Last week was a bad one for me and it seemed to last forever. I experienced both anxiety and panic attacks which struck like waves during the day. By the time Thursday came around I was exhausted. I walked in, collapsed onto the couch with my Grazia magazine, then turned to my boyfriend and muttered; don’t talk to me until I can lift my head off this cushion. (He was on the Xbox anyway, so no problems.)
Despite my cream crackered state, I felt quite pleased and chuffed with myself. It had been a rough week, but my coping techniques had worked. I’d weathered the storm and was still standing (ish!) I believe that it’s important to take positives where you can find them. Yes, I was scared and no it wasn’t easy.. but what is these days?!
The only lingering issue was the dreaded muscle pain in my back, neck and shoulders. I swear panic attacks must have the same effect as an intense work out session! See.. there’s positive, I can tone my muscles without even leaving the flat… (muscly backs are sexy right?)
Back to the point though, I was in a lot of discomfort. Even my fingers were aching!
After hearing this, my mum kindly offered to pay for a massage to help ease the pain. (Thank you very much mum, you truly are the best!) So I went to Sanctuary in Covent Garden and had the; Sanctuary Spa Therapies treatment. http://www.sanctuary.com/en-gb/spa-experience/about-our-spa/spa-treatments – Basically it’s a massage on a warm water bed. It seemed perfect for me, as the treatment is specifically recommended for people who find it hard to relax.
After a slightly shaky start (I awkwardly spent a good 2 minutes trying to climb on the water bed without flashing my knickers,) I began to settle.
I won’t lie, at £85 for 55 minutes this treatment is bloody extortionate expensive. Oh and what’s the 55 minute thing all about? Why not an hour? Why are they robbing me of my extra 5 minutes?! Nevertheless, despite my incessant moaning, the whole thing was actually fantastic. It was possibly the best massage I’ve ever had. The lady who looked after me was very knowledgeable about stress and noted the specific areas in my body where I stored it. (Apparently I hold stress in my left side mainly!) She then worked her magic with the massage. I think I almost fell asleep, it was lovely. When I left, the pain had reduced by around 50% and when I woke the next day it was almost gone.
It got me thinking actually… about saving money for things such as this. It’s not in my nature to be kind to myself and I’m trying to change that. After going through a difficult time it’s good to reward yourself. Dealing with panic attacks isn’t an easy experience. Actually that’s a huge understatement.. panic attacks are one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to face and takes strength to shoulder them. So why not treat yourself afterwards to something that will make you more comfortable? In my case it’s a massage, but other suggestions would be; buy a nice bottle of wine, some posh bubble bath, or one of those gorgeous but very expensive cakes from Paul! Basically something that you wouldn’t normally let yourself have. If you put away a little bit of money each week, then you’ll have your ‘reward money’ waiting for when you really need it.
Now just to clarify, I won’t be able to have the lovely £85 massage on a regular basis as I’m irresponsible and would rather spend the money on booze and clothes I’m poor. Actually mum if you’re reading this, Sanctuary vouchers would be a wonderful Christmas present idea! 😉
Realistically though, there are lots of other places in London and I can afford one at £40.00. The main thing is that I’m rewarding rather than criticising myself.
So there you have it, how about saving £5 a week for your ‘freak out relief’ funds?
Something to think about…